5 Reasons Business Leaders Find It Hard to Sleep, And What to Do About Each One

You’ve had a long day. You’re absolutely knackered and have been looking forward to getting into bed for the last couple of hours. Then your head hits the pillow and, rather annoyingly, your brain decides this is the perfect time to start thinking about absolutely everything: the conversation you had at 11am, the person you need to deal with, the decision you haven’t made, whether that client is going to sign, and something somebody said three days ago that you barely noticed at the time but which has suddenly become incredibly important at 1.24 in the morning.

I’ve worked with successful people for more than 20 years and switching off is something that comes up a lot. There can, of course, be all sorts of reasons for struggling with sleep, including medical ones. Sometimes, though, the problem isn’t really sleep. It’s what happens in your head when everything else finally goes quiet.

1. You’ve finished work, but your brain hasn’t

You might have left the office hours ago, but mentally part of you is still sitting at your desk. Hardly surprising when you’ve spent the day making decisions, sorting out problems, dealing with people and thinking about what could go wrong next. Your brain doesn’t suddenly say, “Right then, he’s brushed his teeth, we can all clock off now.”

One thing I find useful is creating a proper end to the working day. Take five minutes to write down what’s still unresolved, what needs your attention tomorrow and, importantly, what the next action is. Rather than trying to sort everything out, you’re simply telling your brain, “I know about it, it’s written down and I’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

2. You’re trying to solve tomorrow’s problems tonight

We’ve probably all done this. You’re lying there having an imaginary conversation with somebody you’re seeing tomorrow, thinking, “I’ll say this, they’ll probably say that, then I’ll explain this, although if they say that I’ll probably need to mention this as well.” Half an hour later you’ve had an entire meeting and the other person wasn’t even there.

When you catch yourself doing this, ask, “Can I actually do anything useful about this right now?” If the answer is yes, write down what needs doing. If it’s no, decide when you’re going to deal with it. Thinking something through can be useful, but going round and round the same problem at two in the morning usually isn’t.

3. You’ve forgotten how to come down from the day

Think about a normal working day: emails, WhatsApp, meetings, phone calls, decisions, problems, more emails, somebody wanting something and then another quick look at your phone while you’re supposedly watching television.Eventually you go upstairs and expect your brain to go from all of that to peaceful sleep in about seven minutes.

Give yourself a bit of runway. I’m not suggesting you need a two hour evening ritual involving herbal tea, candles and listening to whale noises. Just create some space between doing and sleeping. Put work away, stop checking emails and allow your head a chance to realise that nothing else needs sorting out tonight.

4. The business problem has become personal

This is where it gets more interesting for me. Sometimes it isn’t the actual problem keeping you awake. It’s what you’ve made the problem mean about you.

A client leaving, a difficult month or someone questioning one of your decisions can very quickly turn into, “Have I got this wrong, what if the business is going backwards, and maybe I’m not as good at this as people think I am?”

Suddenly we’re not talking about the business anymore. We’re talking about you.

This is where I look at someone’s Blueprint. I describe your Blueprint as your mental and emotional engine. It contains your beliefs, values, rules, fears, opinions, personal truths and perceived memories. Together, these help form your identity and influence the way you think. Those thoughts affect how you feel, which in turn influences the decisions you make and the way you behave.

Next time something from work is going round your head at night, try asking yourself, “What am I making this mean about me?” The answer can be surprisingly revealing.

5. Bedtime is the first time you’ve actually stopped

This is probably the one that gets missed most often. Most of the day has been spent doing rather than thinking about how you’re actually feeling. People have needed you, questions have been answered, decisions made, problems dealt with and there’s a good chance you’ve helped somebody else with theirs.

Then you get into bed. Nobody wants anything, the phone has stopped and the house is quiet. Your brain thinks, “Lovely. My turn.” Everything you’ve been carrying around suddenly has somewhere to go.

Perhaps the answer isn’t becoming better at pushing those thoughts away. It may be about giving them somewhere to go before you get into bed. Write things down, go for a walk, talk properly to somebody or have someone outside your world who understands how you operate, can reflect things back to you and spot patterns that are difficult to see when you’re the one living them.

After more than 22 years of looking at people’s Blueprints, I’ve become pretty good at seeing what’s what. Quite often, someone starts by telling me about one problem and, as we talk, it becomes apparent that the thing they’re talking about isn’t necessarily the thing we need to work on.

Sometimes a sleep problem isn’t entirely a sleep problem. It might be an overthinking problem, a pressure problem, a boundaries problem, a self doubt problem, or perhaps something in your Blueprint is keeping that mental engine running long after everybody else has gone home.

The aim isn’t to never think about work at night again. You’re human. Good luck with that. What matters is understanding why your mind goes where it goes, noticing the patterns sooner and having a practical way of dealing with them when they appear.

Hopefully, when your head finally hits the pillow, your brain starts getting the message: “That’s enough for today. Tomorrow can wait until tomorrow.”

If you’re regularly struggling to sleep, it’s getting worse or it’s affecting your day to day life, it’s worth speaking to your GP or another appropriately qualified healthcare professional. Coaching can help with thinking patterns, behaviour and managing pressure, but it isn’t a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

David Rahman
Helping leaders and business owners sort out what’s going on in their head, so they can switch off and hopefully get a better night’s sleep.