You’ve Tried Everything. So Why Do You Still Feel the Same?

You’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, watched the videos and perhaps even done a few courses. You're searching for information and answers, but nothings shifting inside.  You understand yourself better than you did five years ago. Yet somehow, when the same situation comes along, you still think, feel and react in much the same way. You react the same way when challenged or still can't take compliments like you should  or find meeting new people difficult.

But, why?

Because knowing something and changing something are two very different things.

This is where your Blueprint comes in.

I describe your Blueprint as your mental and emotional engine. It holds your beliefs, values, rules, fears, opinions, perceived memories and the things you’ve come to accept as true about yourself. Together, these form a large part of your identity.

Your Blueprint then shapes your thinking. Your thinking affects how you feel, and those feelings influence your decisions and behaviour.

So you can read a book telling you to be more confident, but if your Blueprint still contains a belief such as “I’m not good enough”, guess which one usually wins when the pressure is on?

This is why more information isn’t always the answer.

1. Stop asking “What should I do?”

Instead ask, “What must I believe about myself for me to keep thinking and behaving this way?”

If you constantly seek approval, perhaps there’s a belief that other people’s opinions determine your worth. If you keep second guessing yourself, perhaps you don’t fully trust your own judgement.

Get curious about the belief underneath the behaviour.

This going to give you a route to which you can start changing what you don't like about yourself.

2. Start challenging what you believe is true

Not everything in your Blueprint is a fact.

Some of it was formed years ago from experiences you interpreted through a very different pair of eyes.

Ask yourself:

“Is this actually true today, or is it simply something I’ve believed for a long time?”

Sometimes lasting change isn’t about learning something new.

It’s about questioning what you’ve been carrying for years.

If you’re looking to do some deeper, more personal work, you’re welcome to reach out to me.

Sometimes it’s difficult to see your own Blueprint clearly because you’ve been living with it for so long. Having someone independent and non judgemental explore it with you can be incredibly eye opening. It can help uncover the beliefs, rules and fears that may have been quietly shaping your thinking, feelings and decisions for years.

From there, we can use the right tools and techniques to work on what’s actually driving the pattern, rather than simply trying to manage it.

Sometimes another book, podcast or course isn’t what you need. You need to understand what’s really going on underneath.